Over the past several years as I have grown older, I have begrudgingly, and with great trepidation, taken up running (as much as a 10 minute pace for a couple of miles can be referred to as running – it has been better, but in current honesty, that is where I am) in order to combat the war of conditioning and weight maintenance with my own body. I fully understand that this situation is partly the result of the fact that I fall firmly and unapologetically into the “live to eat” group of fellow humans. Food and drink are too interwoven into my fabric of what a happy and complete life contains to “patch” them over with some other substitute. In the vein of “cogito ergo sum”, one of my mantras is forced to be “I eat, therefore, I run”. As this axiom reveals, running is more of a penitence for my other indulgences, not a life-long desire – an absolution to be acquired from a passing monk for a price on the way to Canterbury. As with any form of penitence, it requires effort and persistence to “continue to endeavor”. In previous years, I drew upon certain vain and slightly selfish sources to feed this persistence. These sources sprung from thoughts such as: “I have to run to keep in shape”, “I will be more attractive to the opposite sex if I keep in shape”, “I need to do it for my health”, and “I will be more attractive to the opposite sex if I keep in shape” (yes, that one is in there twice – go figure). I regularly ran these phrases through my mind as I tried to psych myself up go just a little further, hold on or just a little longer, or even get out and start the run at all. Over the past couple of months, I have noticed a change in these mantras. When I now struggle to start or just need to push to go a little longer and further, these are not the lines running through my head. I have begun, instead, to reflect on the fact that I should persist because I have been allowed to by whatever forces allow such things. In some ways, I have a responsibility to do those things that I have been blessed with the ability to still accomplish. Don’t get me wrong, those other lines of motivation still exist and I heed them also. However, now, when I really struggle, the final persistence comes from “do this because the ability to do it has not yet been taken from you!” I now end each run, regardless of length or duration, with a thoughtful and sincere thanks to God, Fate, and whatever Forces of Nature allowed me another chance to do so. Maybe such a change in perspective is growth and spiritual awakening —- or maybe, it’s just the delirium resulting from hypoxia and dehydration………
https://goo.gl/images/L92vEn
