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September 2020

Emotions from Romantic Notions

Play Some Music….When Siri Knows You Are Single and Decides to be a Fucking Little Bitch About It

Under general circumstances and mostly universal terms, I detest and abhor conspiracy theories. However, I have personal knowledge of the following “all too convenient coincidence”; therefore, I feel empowered to make the following assertion….

Postulation – Apple, and quite possibly, every other similar service available today, has a strategic alliance with various participants in the anti-depressant pharmaceutical industry whose objective is to create a symbiotic financial relationship whereby one party creates a demand for the supply of the other party.

Data Set and Substantiation – On a recent evening at home alone – and yes, it was a Friday evening – I wanted to chill out with some audio pleasure. Having made the proper request, I was subsequently regaled with the following stream of soul-crushing, lonely-heart bleeding, spirit wrenching lyrical tidbits:

Nights are Forever Without You – England Dan and John Ford Coley

Summer Breeze – Seals and Crofts

If You Leave Me Know – Chicago

How Much I Feel – Ambrosia

Operator – Jim Croce

Just Remember I Love You – Firefall

Amie – Pure Prairie League

I Go Crazy – Paul Davis

Everything I Own – Bread

Conclusive Summary – There exists a subliminal enticement by Apple resulting in the need for mood altering chemical treatment through the ingestion of industry-led artificially price-inflated pharmaceuticals. The only things missing from the above are a written prescription, directions to the nearest pharmacy and a asterisked, small print note stating that side effects may include uncontrollable anal bleeding.